i'm following the tsunami in south asia. oh my god. searching on line has led me to the blogs. they are incredible. to read some of them leaves me in tears. i signed up to volunteer. crazy i know. i would need time off and money but if it actually materialized i know i would find a way to do it. i am always overwhelmed with the tremendous need that exists in the world. and because i truly believe this, it comes automatically that i think it exists for others. if we took away all the adjectives and layers that describe us, we are one. i only have experience with poverty from living in sipascancha. i know it exists everywhere and of course in our own country too. when i see images of women and children in utterly bleak surroundings whether from here or in other countries, i always find myself thinking, "but if not for the grace of god..." it gives me shudders to realize, without a shadow of a doubt, we do so need to care for each other. governments will not. i have read that if one person exists without their rights, none of us truly have rights. and i suppose it follows that if one of us is suffering, we all do. and to be without food, clean water and shelter, especially in a disaster situation...especially in a third world country, well, i want to think we all keep these people close to our hearts. and of course to send money, volunteer, give up a little, give up a lot, because it could be us, they are one of us.

i'm back from spain. oh, it was fantastic to see ramon. he looks tired though. and it made me sad to see him still living out of a suitcase with not much more than he left peru with. and when i gave him a collection of cd's i had made of peruvian music he had left in my care, he cried. it was when he listened to the andean music. i know he is terribly homesick and terribly stuck. we won't go into all that. but lets say it wasn't such a good idea to overstay his visa to work. he gets paid shit, like any illegal immigrant would. but he still holds out for saving money and returning to peru to start a business. bless his heart. so what did we do? well lots of lovemaking. ummm. and walking with my arm in his all hours of the day and night. he bought me a little diamond ring. i felt guilty knowing he barely has enough money to make it. and running together, this time on the mediterranean! for once i ran faster than him, he hasn't been running as much as when we lived in cusco. and to think we did that at 11,000 feet! i ALWAYS trailed after him there!!! we passed an elephant...it was a statue looking over to the coast of northern africa. ramon said he was looking that way longing for his homeland! we found a little restaurant in marbella owned by an ecuadorean family. i liked the woman who waited the tables saying we made a nice couple. :)
when it came time to leave, i cried fucking again. i have traveled to peru twice and now spain and i always seem to be leaving him.....i can't think about it too much. i just try to hold him close in my heart....even if we are apart more than we are together....
so yes i'm back and now trying another job. god, i hope this one works out. i start in a couple days. wish me luck!
oh, heres some pictures of spain....

so i am quitting this job....the one requiring me to always dress up and sell medical devices. it is just so not for me...i found another one, this time at a community health center working with a latino community north of here an hour. i hope the car will be able to take it. thank goodness for my rosary, maybe it'll guarantee i get back and forth ok. and the most exciting part of all this is that things will be timed right to slip in a little trip to spain to see ramoncito. we will be staying in malaga, on the costa del sol. i only wish i had more time. it will give me the opportunity to see just what the hell he's up to there, and of course, where laurita fits in... thankfully i got a cheap ticket, and no less, at the last minute! my backpack is sitting in the corner all ready to go!!