well it has certainly been some time since i've blogged. its a hot day here, and i'm sick with one of those summer colds. i feel just whipped. but it's been fun. recently spent 8 days out at the country fair site, working with white bird, and then with the recycling crew. i camped with steve at the recycling camp. worked with and met some pretty extraordinary people, both with recycling and white bird. need i say i got very dirty after combing the compost pile for naughty little things that didn't belong in there, or sorting the various plastics, bottles and cans that were recyclable. than goodness for the sauna. restoring to say the least. what a crew to do that year after year, steve has been doing it for 11 years!! as much as i loved working with everybody, i'm not sure it's something i would do year after year. i drank entirely too much and worked too hard! i feel it now, between the cold i caught, and my knee that is sore almost all the time unless i take ibuprofen or stay off of it. but all the action definitely caught up with me....oh god, am i getting old??!!

so lets see, what else? there was a trip to california with steve to SF. we went to a show there and enroute visited the boys and friends. it was fun. otherwise there are plans for a backpack trip in august, maybe a trip up to see my buddies in astoria. and around here there's my garden, which at the moment is looking untended. its quite large. and i already have lettuce, peas, zukes, cukes, broccoli...very cool. but since i got back, i haven't really hung out in it restaking things, or weeding. in fact i will say my garden is a microcosm of my life at the moment, out of hand. as is my house.

so today i have been in and out of bed. get up, stumble around weakly, back to bed...i think 3 times over. tonite i will work , but not until midnite and then till 4 AM. when i'm sick it seems i get to thinking about the point of it all, like where my life is going. what a thing, really. here i am nearly 51, without too many definite plans for the future. more like possibilities, or dreams. but like i've written about before, dreams are so easy. they do not require one to do a damn thing right now. and i am feeling like i'm in limbo. and its uncomfortable at the moment.