Thursday, April 07, 2005

i am not writng much these days. still depressed more than not. still working at the cancer center. and i am thinking of looking for something else to do. i will say the highlight of my day is to send money onto peru and to hear from them. carlos and washi still work under difficult circumstances, but with incredible energy. they always have new project they excitedly write me of and their enthusiasm ignites me. and thankfully i am able to send money as often as i can, since i can live on practically nothing. so in that i am thankful for the job. i really like the patients i work with but many of the nurses are rather unfriendly. it goes like this....coming into work, laurie says, "good morning!", the response, nothing....like they completely ignore you. instead, amongst themselves, they talk about american idol for christs sake. we see patients requiring chemo. they and their families are indeed special. i tell them they remind me of the people i worked with in peru...they have been robbed of hope at some point but make the most of each moment thereafter. so they endure so much from us starting iv's and dripping this toxic substance into their veins. then they go home and they and their families endure the side effects we don't see but of course know of.
ramon is fine, he has gotten his papers in! now to wait for the results. i just want him to be happy. but it is hard to know if he is or will be. he just tries to get by and never complains. and he has to tolerate me forever asking when he will be here or when we will be together...
i have read of the amnesty, some of it in english. i am unsure if it will really allow him to travel. we will see. nos vemos.